Yesterday we went back to Dr. Gulde's office for a follow up - he wanted to make sure Eden was gaining weight with us feeding her every three hours (even through the night) and make sure she was getting hind milk being strictly breast fed. I thought for sure she gained because I fed her not only every 3 hours but often times sooner if she was acting hungery.
My heart dropped when she weighed in at 6 lbs. 8 oz. which meant she lost 3 oz. in 5 days. I felt so defeated because I've been working SO hard and trying my best to get her what she needs. So after talking to Gulde the plan is now to continue breast feeding every 3 hours and then immediately offering her 2 oz. of formula to supplement. We are to offer it to her for only 10 minutes and record how much she eats.
So far she has taken the bottle of formula every time even when she eats really well from me... that is frustrating... I don't know why I'm not enough and why my milk isn't good enough for her. I know she is getting my milk but for some reason she isn't getting the calories she needs. We go back Tuesday for another weigh in and hope she gains enough. If not, the next step is to look at metabolic reasons she isn't gainging. He said anything can happen with a premature baby and we just have to figure it out!
To say the least, I'm EXHAUSTED... I'm feeding her at 9 p.m., 12 midnight, 3 a.m. and 6 a.m. with maybe 1.5 hours - 2 hours of sleep in between. It's also exhausting me emotionally but I will keep on, KEEP ON!! Please continue to pray for us!
On another note, she lost her umbilical cord at the dr. office and good thing because it bled a bit. He cauterized it so it might be dark for days or her entire life. I've always had a darker spot in my belly button and I wonder if that happened to me too! My mom mentioned it happened to one of us but couldn't remember who!
Wow, how life has changed!
3 years ago
6 comments:
Kathryn,
You are in my prayers. I can't even imagine what you are going through. Every blog you leave gives my glimpses of what I will be doing in 16 weeks. I just pray that things get easier for you. Just remember, in the span of life, this is only a small part. God will provide.
I am so sorry you're going through all of this. We went through this EXACT same thing with Ava if you ever want to talk. I know how exhausting (emotionally and physically) this all can be. We continue to keep you all in our prayers. I hope you are able to get some sleep soon!
Even after the 11 years it has been since I breastfed, I still remember all the emotional and physical exhaustion involved. I stuck with it for 4 months, pumping and supplementing only to find out when baby girl was 6 months old that she had an underdeveloped muscle in her face which made it just too difficult for her to adequately nurse and needed the ease of a bottle.
I know you take it personally but please trust me that it doesn't make you any less of a great Mother, woman, wife or Christian if you breastfeed or don't. What matters is that you give your child what she needs and you are doing the best you can. If you can continue to breastfeed and give Eden what she needs wonderful, if you need to go to a bottle then God will be glorified in that too! We are praying for your sweet family and hope you know that we love you all very much!
Hang in there. One thing that helped us was giving her a bottle through the night feedings while breastfeeding in the day. I know it's not what the Dr. ordered but Ili kept gaining her weight, I got a little break and Philip got to help out. This way you get some much needed rest mentally and physically. Your milk supply won't be affected. I have a book on breastfeeding that the hospital gave me with lots of good tips if you like.
Eden is so precious. Your family is in my prayers. I could never imagine going through what you're going through right now. Just remember that God is there. He's helping you guys take care of your precious baby girl. Try to get some rest. I'm sure you are emotionally and physically drained. Just remember He is there. She's in my prayers. Kendra
Kathryn this brought tears to my eyes because, as you know, I had to stop nursing due to his medical problems. You can not imagine the emotions and depression (I was a basket case let me tell you) when I was told I COULD NOT breastfeed my child or he could possibly die due to the terrible shape of his colon! Harsh words, but that is what it took for me to wrap my head around the fact that he could not digest breastmilk or anything else for that matter. I know with all my heart you are frustrated and hurting. All of you are in my prayers. Just know that whatever happens whether it be bottle-fed or breast-fed so long as your baby is fed with love then that is all that matters. They don't care how they are fed so long as they get fed and are loved and I know you can provide that for her! :) Don't let anyone tell you otherwise!
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