Monday, January 28, 2013

Touch

It's amazing to experience the power of touch. What it can do to you. What it can communicate. How it can heal. I think about the simple little touch of Neil's foot on mine when we're drifting off to sleep. Or when Claire or Eden hold my hand on their own accord. I feel so loved. I'll never forget when I first touched Eden on her last day in the NICU as I got her ready to finally come home. I had held her for about a minute immediately after she was born but then it would be 8 days until I touched her again because we always had to be gloved and robed. To finally touch my baby girl, skin on skin, was magnetic. I experienced it again when I first touched Halif after longing, praying and seeing his sweet face in photographs. To finally touch him again after 8 weeks of being separated was magical.

I didn't know that I would experience the power of touch today. Let me explain... this past weekend we were noticing that Halif's helmet was leaning almost over his eye and just wasn't fitting like it had been. It moved around a lot and didn't lineup when it was fastened. So I called the Cranial Technologies office today and after talking to them, they determined that he might be growing out of his helmet. She didn't want Halif to wear an ill fitted helmet so she told me to take it off until his OT can look at it at our Thursday appt. So, I took it off. It's been 3 full months that he has worn his helmet for 23 hours a day and the hour break is usually busy dinner, bath and getting ready for bed time. As silly as it sounds, today I got to enjoy my sweet boy's head... I got to kiss his forehead when I was trying to get him to sleep, I got to stroke the back of his head while I carried him in the ergo, I got to feel his head in the crook of my arm while I rocked him, I felt his head on my chest when he would lean on me and each time, I was so grateful. So grateful to finally TOUCH my baby's head and it was quite honestly overwhelming. So grateful for something so simple. Something we all take for granted. I'm not sure if we are completely done with his helmet and we will find out more Thursday. But I do know that I felt just a tad bit more connected to Halif today and pray I don't ever take the simplest blessings for granted.

My emotions were heightened today as a young family at church said goodbye to their sweet baby girl, Atlee Grace, after her 6 months in the NICU. I was once again reminded of how blessed we are with each moment of being in each other's presence physically able to touch and the blessing of how these little one's touch our hearts. Please pray for the Boone family with me for the days, weeks and months to come. And go love, kiss and touch your little ones.

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